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Monday, August 9, 2010

The Hunt

I'm going to have to break my promise and discuss the "W" word. W as in work- or my search for a new job. Or my hunt, as I am calling it. It feels a bit like I'm I'm a jaguar ready to pounce.

Jaguars are strong, majestic, spotted. I'm feeling a bit more like the scared gazelle, running for its life. I'm so very scared. The whole search process makes me want to cry. Or vomit. Or watch too many episodes of Gilmore Girls in a row. (True, I'd probably do this anyway, but hey any excuse, right?) I don't know what I'm most afraid of- not finding a job or finding a job. See, I think I'm making a major career shift. It feels like eons ago, but my major dream was to become a college professor. Sadly, I hated teaching- and I think hated might be an understatement of the word. Since leaving the hallowed halls of academia, I got a very prestigious internship at the Government Accountability Office and finished my Master of Public Administration. Not too shabby, but not really all that fulfilling for me. Great job, great organization. Entirely wrong for me and my future.

I don't really want to work in Government- and I actually had very serious qualms about taking my internship. I wanted to work in community development, and Government oversight is a far cry for my interest in local affairs. Post London and post GAO, my main goal is to help my community. I've decided to jump into the non-for-profit sector. I've found a few positions and I'm working on the applications, cover letters, and resumes right now. I feel like I'm on a ledge, deciding to jump or not. The ledge is so comfortable, easy. The jumping is the hard part.


Caroline | surprised by joy said...

I know the teetering ledge so very well. As one who is in the midst of free-fall, my advice is, of course, to jump. When it comes down to it, if you are the sort of person who pours their whole heart into everything they do, you can't afford to be pouring yourself out into something that's not pouring back into you. Otherwise, as I found, you end up empty and miserable.

I have faith that you'll find the right place. In the meantime, "Gilmore Girls" definitely helps. :)

Hilary said...

Thanks for the support, Caroline! I'm working on jumping. For the last three days I've been working on an application package. Hopefully the effort pays off. I'll keep praying and hoping.

Q. said...

Comparing war stories, my housemate and I have recently come to the conclusion that looking for a job is much like looking for housing, or like dating. You've got the latter two out of the way, at least, and for the rest, I'll repeat what I told my friend: prayers, luck and your own tenacity. I have faith.

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